Bad Words

When my grandson accused me of using a bad word I learned my son-in-law had told his son that “stupid” is a bad word. I quoted George Carlin to my son-in-law: “no such thing as bad words, bad thoughts, but no bad words.” He disagreed and we left it there though I have been thinking that the so called “bad word” could be an opening for discussion of why it was used; what was meant; might it be hurtful, etc.

I hadn’t seen Mike for a dozen years though we had been corresponding since college—first mail and phone and now mostly email. We were heading for his house from the airport when I, for some reason, said something like, “Birthers” are stupid. When I concluded my mini-rant there was silence from Mike and then he said, “My son and I have a word we use when a discussion should be stopped. We say “football”. Pause. “Football”.

I said no more at the time. Mike keeps his thoughts pretty close. Over the years I have asked for his political opinion and it has usually differed from mine though thoughtfully and not radically different which is why I had barged into the birther issue, I really hadn’t imagined he would believe someone could become President of the US without unquestionably having been born in the US. Before my visit ended I learned that he thought Obama was part of a conspiracy. That thought hadn’t occurred to me so I put my mind to it.

I’ve read enough Robert Ludlum to be able to imagine someone getting into the birth certificate files in Hawaii and inserting a forged document. It would probably be even easier to insert a birth announcement in the newspapers and to change the records in the hospital. I’m sure there are modern day G. Gordon  Liddys around but who hired the person or persons to carry out the conspiracy and when was it initiated and why?

Why, I suppose is a quest for power. Someone or some group like Americans for an Americaner Way or My Way or the Highway wants to own a president. They see the speech Obama makes at the Democratic Convention in 2004 and think, this is a guy we could probably control and we could probably get him elected so they go to work...damn, that doesn’t work because Obama had already written his memoir loaded with information about his life that could be checked; unless the memoir was not quite true. In that case the power-seeking group does some fact checking and finds that he lied about his birthplace. They go to work to fix the problem.

It’s actually more difficult to figure out how Obama could have been born outside the United States since his mother was never out of the country until he was six years old. 

Unlike my grandson I don’t have a father to sit me down and discuss my use of the word “stupid” so I’ve had to give it some thought on my own:

Thought one) assumptions are always dangerous. Tread softly.

Thought two) “Stupid” is not a word that should be applied to an individual or even a group of individuals. If done directly, it is sure to raise hackles. If done indirectly (behind the back), it is dishonest.

Thought three) I’ll try but there are times…

Porcupines and gardens

I thought it was groundhogs eating my broccoli until the day I saw a porcupine up on hind legs munching happily. In my opinion the only good thing about porcupines is that they don’t run away relying on their quills for protection. The fisher is their only predator; fishers have learned to grab the porcupine’s nose, flip it over and attack its unquilled belly. Few porcupines have learned that Homo sapiens have learned how to shot a gun. The porcupine was still munching away when I returned. One down but I soon learned that was just the tip of the problem.

            Porcupines are generally nocturnal. Trying to protect my crops I pitched a tent next to the garden. Sure enough the animals woke me; I shot two in the Brussels sprouts and one in the apple tree that night. It took two years and about a dozen porcupines shot before I found an electric mesh fence that worked well for a couple of years. I thought the problem was solved. Since it is a bother (not much of one but nonetheless) and who wants to do something that isn’t necessary, I decided to wait until I had a problem before putting it up. At the first sign of damage I put up the fence but this time the animal managed to get through the fence.

            The porcupines won time after time. All they had to do was find a place they could get their nose under the fence and the quills would insulate them the rest of the way. I pegged the fence down where they got through and they found another way in. I pegged all the places they might be able to get through and they dug down far enough to make it. I got a motion detector camera thinking if I knew when they visited I could be waiting for them. There was no pattern to visitations. I got a motion detector that would turn on a light. That didn’t work.

            If you have a problem with porcupines, I think I can help. Things you need to know: 1) they like to eat corn, cauliflower, broccoli, Brussels sprouts, apples, pears and the bark on trees, 2) they mostly eat at night but can sometimes be seen in the garden or eating grass at sunset 3) I’m convinced they can communicate something as complex as how to get under an electric fence 4) they are excellent climbers and if you are looking for them during the day, your best bet is to look up.

            Solution: 1) The electric fence is great. I have 20 inch VersaNet from www.premier1supplies.com  Put it up before the animals get a taste of your garden because once they find such delicacies they will be persistent in getting through. If they get through the fence, put it outside the garden on mowed sod as it is harder for the animals to dig under.

            Solution  2.) If the garden is close to the house and you have a gun, get a motion detector and set it up to pick up motion in the area they will be interested in. Set it up so the motion detector turns on a radio in your bedroom. You also need to have the motion detector turn on a light as it will not work with a radio alone.

            I hope you don’t have a problem as great as mine. I am still killing 6 to 10 porcupines a year.