Mort Mather Author Writer Organic Farmer Philosopher Thinker Restauranteur

How to improve your life and save the world.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Best advice I ever got

I have concluded, more than fifty years later, that the best advice I ever got came from an old caddy when I was fifteen. It was startling advice, as you can imagine, since I remember it after all these years. Several of us caddies were sitting on the caddy bench waiting for a job when the older caddy (the others were about my age) told us that we should always make the woman climax first. It was several years before I was able to put this advice to use but the most startling piece of information was that women climaxed!
Now, in my seventies, I am thinking that this advice may have been the beginning of empathetic thinking for me. Certainly thinking about my partner during sex play has, over the years, brought my partners ecstatic pleasure which, in turn, has done the same for me. Since sex is such a big part of most of our lives, it makes sense that it would be a good vehicle for learning. That it is discussed so little is a tragedy. In our society sex is kept secret. “Secret!” You say. Of course it is the most lucrative business of the web. Prostitution is rightly called the oldest profession. Most of your friends have a fetish of some sort that they wouldn’t want known by even their closest friend. Most people masturbate and lie about it.
I’m not advocating that we go around talking about sex all the time. I just think we would all be a lot healthier, our society would be healthier, if we were comfortable including sex in our conversations just as we include food, sports, aches and pains, politics, etc. (I purposely left out the weather as discussing sex as often as we discuss the weather would probably be an excess.)
Perhaps this example of empathetic thinking will help some others to think this way. I am convinced that the better one becomes at putting one’s self in another’s being, the better life becomes. Think of it this way. Wouldn’t it be way cool to be able to read people’s minds? Thinking empathetically has taken me far in that direction.